I know assn executives are busy, especially at the start of a conference, but they do themselves a disservice when they don’t carefully observe what they create.
Basic premise: Assns exist for no other reason than for members to associate.
Some believers in the great “god of technology” suggest that face-to-face meetings are going the way of the dodo bird, replaced by a variety of really trendy technological innovations. To know the error of that prediction, just watch people coming together after an absence.
Pay careful attention, and the real purpose of meetings will reveal itself. “It’s so good to meet you finally!” combined with a hearty handshake. Or, “It’s been a long time, it’s great to see you again!” with an eager clasping of hands, even kisses and hugs. Meetings are much more than the exchange of information, they are opportunities to reconnect and reassert our existence by contributing value to, and being recognized by, our community of choice.
Here’s something that tangentially encapsulates this for me, the Zulu greeting of “Sawubona,” and the traditional response, “Ngikhona.” “Sawubona” means “I see you” and “Ngikhona” literally means “I am here.”
Inherent in this exchange, is the idea that until you saw me, I didn’t exist. By recognizing me, you bring me into existence. “Ngikhona” isn’t only a response; it’s almost a personal revelation. “I must be here! He sees me!” A Zulu folk saying reinforces this concept of our existence being a joint effort, “Umuntu ngumuntu nagabantu,” meaning “A person is a person because of other people.”
If that seems far removed from how Westerners normally think of a greeting, think back to the long running TV show “Cheers.” In the opening song, one line predominates, “You want to be where everybody knows your name.”
Those two examples support the notion that we have a longing to be where people recognize and value us. Perhaps out of that recognition, we create our sense of self. We have all experienced the uncomfortable, distressing sense of disconnection where we’ve been “strangers in a strange land,” where every face was foreign, where no comrades welcomed us.
I get to more than my fair share of conferences, and though I make my living as a speaker, I have to admit that most conferences suffer from a common ailment: Far too many speakers speaking and not enough attenders meeting.
The best conferences I’ve attended are the ones where the #1 priority was for registrants to be with each other, and not just with the experts brought in to justify the renting of microphones, podiums and lecterns.
Conferences attempt to fill all free time with “events,” rather than allowing participants the time to create their own meeting. It’s almost as if we have a fear of blank space, not trusting participants to fill it with personal meaning.
Yes, it’s true that in many assns, a good number of the members do not know each other, that they’re nearly all strangers. If this is true, then the assn need only practice the ancient art of “introductions.” Nothing special is necessary. Play host and introduce one stranger to another, they’ll take it from there. Honest.
The World Economic Forum is recognized as one of the most prestigious meetings in the world. It is attended by world leaders and global experts. Yet, they make a conscious effort to have participants interact in small informal groupings. Each evening, there are dozens of dinner meetings modeled on the salon concept of “bringing diverse people together to exchange ideas,” popular in the late 1800s and early 1900s. At each location, a speaker gives a short, provocative presentation. Then the ideas presented are discussed by the participants over dinner until the wee hours of the morning.
Other conferences take a different approach. In a 90-minute session, the imported speaker addresses the group for 45 minutes and for the rest of that time slot, the participants, in groups of 12 or less, discuss the presentation within the context of their organizations. How relevant are the concepts? Are they already being applied? Will they be brought back to the organization? How exactly? What pitfalls/opportunities do they present?
The focus in both examples is the engineered association of peers, rather than passive listening. In neither of these examples have I ever witnessed uncomfortable silence.
Even when a meeting planner fails to bring enough opportunity to “meet” to their meetings, participants find a way, either by skipping scheduled events (seen by planners as a failure) or by spending what free time they’re allowed in the bar exchanging both real greetings and real meaning.
Peter de Jager is a keynote speaker and sr. consultant with Plexus Consulting Group, specializing in change management. He can be contacted at pdejager@plexusconsulting.com, www.plexusconsulting.com or www.technobility.com.
